Crappy Halloween! Instead of enjoying my favorite holiday of the year, I get to spend it chained to my crappy desk in my shithole office until midnight or later. Now, that’s scary. I’m most fearful that my car will endure a steady pounding of week-old eggs and shaving cream while I’m working tonight which means I’ll have to actually *gasp* wash my car tomorrow! I’ve witnessed the roaming bands of merciless youth destroy everything in their path during daylight hours when the high school was next to my office. I can only imagine the terror they will stir up after dark. Pray for my old Honda.

No one in my house bought candy. Instead of tempting fate and risking punishment at the hands of egg-wielding juveniles I just wasted 20 minutes of my morning trying to select between Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Kit Kats.

“Break me off a piece of that…. football cream!” Sorry, I had to throw that in there because, while at the store, all I could picture was big, stupid Andy trying to remember the ending to that jingle.

Anyway, I made sure to assess the boyfriend-factor when buying candy. I bought him two bags of Hershey’s S’mores all for himself. He’ll be passing out all the candy tonight so if he wants to share his S’mores with the little trick-or-treaters, he can. We’ll be lucky if one of those bags makes it past 1 o’clock.

*sigh* Is it Thursday yet?

Driving to work this morning sucked, but it wasn’t the usual traffic-induced torture that I usually experience. Along my entire route to the office, every single freakin’ bus stop was packed with fans, revelers, kids, old people, you name it, waiting for a bus to take them to the Red Sox Rally. And I had to work. Sunday night I was hoping they’d wait until Thursday (my day off) but no dice. I was left with the play-by-play from Dale Arnold and Mike Holley on WEEI which was NOT an adequate replacement for actually being there. I couldn’t fully grasp the insanity of Jonathan Papelbon’s duck boat antics until I was able to view all his shenanigans on boston.com

The man has officially lost his mind.

In other news, I signed up for NaBloPoMo or National Blog Posting Month. For the entire month of November, I promise to update my blog at least once a day – no excuses. Oh boy, I can’t wait for the riveting late November posts I’ll write!

I think I’m as sick of this “running up the score” business as I was of “spygate.” Patriots’ hatred runs deep around the NFL, though I’m not sure why. I don’t think the Patriots express an arrogance any different than many other good teams around the league.

Their “classless” victory celebrations are 100% the direct result of statements made by opponents prior to the game. You tell me this, let’s say the Boston Globe printed a parade route for a Super Bowl parade tomorrow. Indianapolis is thinking, “what the hell?!” Right? So, if they did defeat the Patriots after they were considered a time-wasting speed bump on the Patriots’ road to Super Bowl, the emotions of victory are going to be that much more inflated, right? This is logic here, not biased devotion, I promise you.

This gave me a chuckle this morning, “I asked FOXSports’ Howie Long if the Patriots were running up the score on the Redskins. Long’s argument was that the Redskins shouldn’t have been running their mouths about how New England had never seen defensive backs like theirs and that they wouldn’t get blown out like the other teams. Keep your mouth shut and maybe the Patriots would respect the Redskins a little more. That makes some sense to me.”

I’m intimately acquainted with the Patriots. I watch all the coverage, all the interviews, all the press conferences, I listen to them speak on the radio. I’ve heard nothing but respect. If you can sit back and tell me you hate the Patriots because they’re arrogant and classless, then you, my misguided friend, are digging REAL DEEP.

I’m going to tell it like I see it: I don’t think the Patriots were specifically running up the score on Washington. They were honing their game plan for Indy. There, I said it. By keeping the team on the field for most of the game, Belichick was preventing his team from becoming complacent because Sunday’s game in Indy is going to require all four quarters. Let’s get real here. This ain’t preseason. Does one honestly think Brady was so angry late in the game when his OL jumped offsides because he wanted to score more points on Washington? No, he knows that if they do it next week in Indy, they’re going to be up shit’s creek. Duh.

I think it was Glenn that said this yesterday on WEEI, “When the Rams did it, they were the ‘Greatest Show on Turf.’ When the Patriots do it, it’s running up the score.”

Years ago my dad said to me, “I always dream about a day when we (Patriots) are just blowing teams out of the water.” They could never make it easy – even Super Bowls came down to final timeouts and field goals. Now, my dad is getting his wish, which is kind of scary when you think about it. The Patriots are trouncing teams much to my dad’s enjoyment. This is fun, but like I said, Patriots hatred runs deep.

Patriots turn NFL into big bunch of rich crybabies
“That’s running up the score, there isn’t any other way to look at that. C’mon, man, you’re going for it on fourth down and you’re up by 38 points. You’re throwing the ball late in the game. Most teams just run the clock out to get the win. They don’t think like that, but I guess it’s our job to stop them. You can’t do anything about it, just go out and play defense and try to stop them.” – Redskins DL Philip Daniels.

Waaah! Waaah! Waaah! Something tells me if the Patriots had kicked a field goal, Daniels’ quote would have looked like this – “…C’mon, man, you’re kicking a field goal and you’re up by 38 points…”

With quivering lips and broken egos, another team loses to the Patriots. I think it’s pretty pathetic that the Patriots have to explain themselves for being too good. This is a new era, folks. Players have to be football-playing robots BUT they have to switch off if they lead by two touchdowns. They cannot celebrate or express joy in a job well done but they also cannot score too many points for that is just mean to the opposing team. Boo hoo. Pfft. At least the fans in London get it, like when they loudly booed the Giants taking a knee in the last minute. Love them Brits! They’re great and I really underestimated their potential fandom.

Only in Boston can your football team put up 52 points and few care

I don’t know what was more exciting last night: watching the Red Sox win a second World Series Championship this millennium or watching rambunctious revelers taken down by Boston Police. I’ve been happy before but I’ve never experienced a level of joy that would make me overturn a car. If only these kids could focus that energy on something productive other than binge drinking and car flipping but, you know, nothing says celebration like an a.m. Arraignment.

“What, dude?! It’s my American Right to break things when I’m happy! It’s in the Bill of Constitution, bro!”

I was in the mood to frivolously spend a few bucks the other night so I thought I’d head over to Modell’s, purveyors of all things sport. I was checking out the store’s website and I saw a bunch of Patriots crap and I was itching to buy some. Call me old fashioned, but I hate online shopping. I’m more of an instant gratification shopper. When I buy something, it is because I want it in that moment. I don’t want to sit around and wait 3-5 business days to enjoy my purchase, as I also don’t want 3-5 business days to feel guilty for spending my money on crap I don’t need instead of saving it.

So I drove to the nearby Modell’s. I only need one word to describe my thoughts on Modell’s – disappointment. Much of the store was filled with Red Sox stuff, for obvious reasons but that’s not my gripe. I started scanning the store in search of the Patriots crap I saw on the website.

In the men’s department, the store had Patriots apparel of all sorts – sweatshirts, tee shirts, underwear, you name it. Men’s sweatshirts are not flattering on me. I’m too short and they’re too long. They make me look stumpy, flat-chested, and chubby (chubbier), and the sleeves are long enough to drift past my knees. This is why I have been thrilled with the NFL’s decision to start making lots of NFL-themed apparel for women.

Modell’s women’s section left a lot to be desired. I frantically searched through rack after rack of work out pants, sports bras, and jogging suits. Finally, I found one rack with something, and I’ll be God Damned, it was a PINK FLIPPING SWEATSHIRT with a Patriots logo. PINK! PINK!!!!!! Show me one spot of pink in the Patriots uniform and I’ll shut up. Oh yeah, you can’t because THERE IS NO PINK IN THE UNIFORM! I don’t even look good in pink, I look pasty. On the other hand, I look wonderful in Navy blue which actually is in the Patriots uniform. I could save myself $60 and just buy a plain FLIPPING PINK SWEATSHIRT because you wouldn’t know the flipping difference!

Please, Reebok. Quit it with the pink crap.