In an attempt to find a themed snack for the Patriots-Bengals game (because that’s how we do), I picked up a bag of cheese doodles. Ya know, the whole orange thing, right? Every time I ate a cheese doodle, the Patriots did something good. Seriously. You think that Asante Samuel interception at the end of the first half was because of his talent or a bad Carson Palmer pass? Oh no, that was me, sitting on my couch, chowing on a gross cheese doodle. All those passes that flew over Chad Johnson’s head… you might think that was Ty Warren applying the proper amount of pressure. Think again… that was me stuffing my face with cheese doodles.
I made the mistake of mentioning this newfound superstitious technique to my dad. If Cincy started picking up steam, I’d hear my dad scream, “DOODLE!”
I ate way too many cheese doodles and now instead of savoring another Patriots’ victory, I feel like barfing. The things I do for my team. Geez.