Pink Sucks

I was in the mood to frivolously spend a few bucks the other night so I thought I’d head over to Modell’s, purveyors of all things sport. I was checking out the store’s website and I saw a bunch of Patriots crap and I was itching to buy some. Call me old fashioned, but I hate online shopping. I’m more of an instant gratification shopper. When I buy something, it is because I want it in that moment. I don’t want to sit around and wait 3-5 business days to enjoy my purchase, as I also don’t want 3-5 business days to feel guilty for spending my money on crap I don’t need instead of saving it.

So I drove to the nearby Modell’s. I only need one word to describe my thoughts on Modell’s – disappointment. Much of the store was filled with Red Sox stuff, for obvious reasons but that’s not my gripe. I started scanning the store in search of the Patriots crap I saw on the website.

In the men’s department, the store had Patriots apparel of all sorts – sweatshirts, tee shirts, underwear, you name it. Men’s sweatshirts are not flattering on me. I’m too short and they’re too long. They make me look stumpy, flat-chested, and chubby (chubbier), and the sleeves are long enough to drift past my knees. This is why I have been thrilled with the NFL’s decision to start making lots of NFL-themed apparel for women.

Modell’s women’s section left a lot to be desired. I frantically searched through rack after rack of work out pants, sports bras, and jogging suits. Finally, I found one rack with something, and I’ll be God Damned, it was a PINK FLIPPING SWEATSHIRT with a Patriots logo. PINK! PINK!!!!!! Show me one spot of pink in the Patriots uniform and I’ll shut up. Oh yeah, you can’t because THERE IS NO PINK IN THE UNIFORM! I don’t even look good in pink, I look pasty. On the other hand, I look wonderful in Navy blue which actually is in the Patriots uniform. I could save myself $60 and just buy a plain FLIPPING PINK SWEATSHIRT because you wouldn’t know the flipping difference!

Please, Reebok. Quit it with the pink crap.

9 thoughts on “Pink Sucks

  1. I’m surprised you didn’t mention the pink and white jerseys that they have for women, too. I really look forward to the games where Brady wears his pink alt-jersey. 🙂

  2. Those are the WORST! I was watching the Patriots-Cincinnati game a few weeks ago and saw the same exact pink jerseys in the crowd. At first glance, they looked EXACTLY like their Patriots counterparts, but on closer inspection, they were Cincy jerseys. This is what I’m talking about.

  3. I agree. I look awful in pink . . . and red . . . and orange. And have always felt comfortable wearing anything blue or black or grey. Good luck on your hunt of the real Patriots stuff. 🙂

  4. I wonder what marketing study told them that the stuff would sell better if it was pink rather than the actual colors. Maybe they are targeting the guys who want to get something for their significant other that does not follow sports?

  5. My boyfriend is an avid believer in pink jerseys and stuff. He thinks girls should wear the pink. It makes for interesting dinner discussions. 😉

  6. It’s a huge pet peeve of mine when sports apparel is sold in colors other than the teams. I completely understand the need to have pinks, greys, oranges, etc. in your wardrobe, but does it NEED to be a sports sweatshirt? I’ll only buy the ones that actually have my team colors IN them.

  7. I’m so glad to know that other women are pissed off about all the friggin pink football apparel. There’s some OK shirts online, but then there’s also a lot of shirts with sparkling stuff, like we’re all 6 years old.

  8. I agree with all of you. I am a Dallas Cowboy fan and I am sure everyone saw Jessica Simpson wearing the pink Romo jersey. Not even she could get me to appreciate the color. Now maybe if she put some mud on it and added a little black charcoal under her eyes it would add some quality but probably not. Great post.

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