As you may or may not know, Wednesdays for me are the equivalent to torture. In fact, I think the CIA could benefit from this type of head-numbing agony.
For example, music torture is popular nowadays since it’s supposedly humane. Well, on Wednesdays I am also subject to music torture by way of Oldies 103. Over and over, the same HORRIBLE songs, and even if at one time I did like the song, when it’s played over and over and over and over… I’ll contemplate plunging my ear drums out with a pencil. My boss also likes to step up the misery by playing the same The Mamas & The Papas CD over and over and over. The band’s Greatest Hits album is the now constant soundtrack of any nightmare I have.
There’s the “Way Way Way Past Deadline” Torture. This kind of torture typically involves an advertiser sending over ten pages of text that he or she would like to fit into a 2″ x 2″ ad… an hour or two before MY DEADLINE (when the papers must be finished).
There’s the “What Am I, 4-1-flipping-1?!” Torture. I’m going to let you all in on a little secret here. Most newspapers are, believe it or not, businesses with competitors. Just because you want the phone number to our arch rival, and even if I know said phone number, if you call ME and ask for it I will not give it to you. I will also not give you the number to city hall, some guy that advertised in our paper last year, or the fax number to the local district court.
And I can’t forget the “Ang! Ang! Ang!” Torture. This is by far the greatest, most painful, most headache-inducing torture of all. For some reason, everyone in my office believes I am the know-all, fix-everything, so-awesome-I-can-handle-643-tasks-at-once, go-to person. I’ll get handed a fullpage ad with more copy than Homer’s “Iliad” and just when I start to get into a groove I’ll hear, “Ang! Ang! Ang! How do I… oh wait, I got it.” It requires nothing on my part but destroys any and all focus I had, causing me to start over. And the process repeats. “Ang! Ang! Ang! Last year, when did we run that [insert name of advertiser that hasn't advertised with us for ten years] ad?” “Ang! Ang! Ang! Did you get an email from [insert annoying communications company that keeps calling 50,000 times to see if we got their stupid press release name here]?” “Ang! Ang! Ang! Can you fix a paper jam in the printer?” Ang! Ang! Ang! The fax machine ran out of paper. What do we do?!” and so forth.
On Wednesdays, I can literally FEEL my blood pressure rising. I get a stiffness in my chest, my hands start to shake. Hell, if I was being interrogated by the CIA under these circumstances, I’d confess to kidnapping the Lindbergh Baby to just make it stop.
Twitter Updates
I mostly work from home, and the thing that pisses me off the most is the telephone.
OK, I need the telephone for business, sure, but it’s the needless calls that really bug me.
“No, I haven’t finished your project yet, because, you stupid smuck, if I had, you’d have had an email back confirming such, and the invoice would have been close behind it.”
Another crappy day at work huh? I always feel better about my job when I read you complaining about yours
Anyway, hope the rest of your week goes better (don’t it always)
I must admit, as far as Wednesdays go yesterday wasn’t so terrible. I was actually out of work by 11 p.m.! And Eyebee, I can’t believe I forgot, “Incessantly Ringing Phone” Torture! I might have to add a Part II!
Oftentimes, I get the: “can you copy this CD for me?” or “why doesn’t my computer do this [insert simple task like opening Word or Excel]?” or “see this disc? can you put it in your computer and tell me what’s on it?”
ah, I breathe a small sigh of relief as of today, and a little laugh that, shortly, like in 2-3 weeks, I will no longer be in this office.
I can’t wait for the sit-down w/ my boss when I give my notice. Hell, I might even record it and post the audio on Tell Him Fred
I had to laugh about your “advertiser sending over 10 pages of copy for a 2×2 ad”. I used to be an advertiser – employment classifieds – and my hiring managers would pull the same crap. I cannot tell you how many times I was labeled “unhelpful” because I edited their crap down to the 5 lines that COULD fit in our ad template and then they’d complain to my boss. Bitches. I feel for you.
P.S. I got laid off from that job 6 months before I was fully vested in my 401k plan. Guess they showed me…