FINALLY, my sisters and I are taking my dad to The Hall today and as luck would have it, I have come down with a crappy cold. I blame my boss 100% for this cold because all week he was sick and would not go home. In fact, my other boss drove him home and he still came back. “Ha ha, I get bored at home,” he said. Oh ha-friggin-ha, now I have to suffer because he didn’t feel like sitting at home. Great.

I already told my dad that I’d be going to The Hall today even if I had the Bubonic Plague. I can handle a wretched head cold. That’s nothing. And just to be on the safe side, I practically signed over my life to obtain a pack of Advil Cold & Sinus at Walgreens.

While I’m at it, I’d like to take a moment to complain about the fact that it is a ludicrously annoying process to buy Advil Cold & Sinus. I need my ID, agree to some long, wordy thing about buying pseudoephedrine which is the last thing I want to read when I have a head cold, and sign something, all to obtain the only medicine that works for me when I have a cold. And all of this came after the pharmacy tech rolled his eyes at me when I asked for it because he is all too familiar with the lengthy process that will follow.

And I must also mention that the Advil Cold & Sinus is so wonderful, I can now actually breathe with my mouth closed! (I swear, this post is not sponsored by Advil Cold & Sinus).

My sister is going to drive so I’ve prepared a kit to take with me on our 30 to 45 minute journey to Gillette Stadium: More Advil Cold & Sinus, gum, a roll of toilet paper (who needs Kleenex?), a juice box, and an empty Stop & Shop bag for the used TP.

Wish me luck!

I’m proud to announce that an essay I wrote for my little sister garnered her an “A” in class… an essay that took me all of 15 minutes to research and write. I’m so awesome, it’s sickening.

Of course, my celebration over my latest “A” was met with judgment by my boyfriend. “Oh, look at little Miss Goody Goody doing something bad!” Is it really that bad though? I mean, my sister and I worked on it together, sort of. I was explaining to her what I was writing. She learned something, in between text messages, I’m sure. And you’re telling me millions of parents don’t do their kids’ homework in a jam?

My dad did a book report for me when I was in the fifth grade (his first “A” ever, actually). He was psyched when he learned that I had to write a book report on a science fiction book, my least favorite genre. The Sunday before it was due, we decided I should “read” Battlestar Galactica since it was his favorite TV show (the Lorne Greene version with its campy special effects, not the new, stylized, politico version).

My mom, of all people, even got into the homework biz when she made me a diorama on Native Americans that I had to do for class (I think that was fifth grade, too).

I don’t have kids so my 14-year-old sister is the closest I get (well, not counting the boyfriend’s kid. I’m super step mommy). And if she would rather socialize over the weekend than write an essay, who am I to judge? At that age I was doing far worse things. *shiver* So boyfriend can shut his judgmental mouth.

With yesterday being the worst Sunday of football season (no football), my dad and I decided to watch the thrilling epic, “History of the New England Patriots” DVD that I got him for Christmas.

It was good (and looooooooong) but I was a little disappointed that it skipped some important moments in Patriots history such as the severe injury to Darryl Stingley and the John Hannah/Leon Gray holdout. No mention of the Billy Sullivan-Howie Long brawl even though they did mention that particular game against the Raiders and you can be sure there was also no mention of the Lisa Olson case, but I didn’t think there would be anyway. Worst of all, it made Tony Eason out to be in the same class as Marino, Elway, and Kelly and the Sullivans to be the best owners EVAH.

And of course, the ending was a brutal, painful, cringe-inducing, scream-worthy reminder of last year’s you-know-what. As we neared the end, my dad and I knew what was coming.

Surprisingly, the video did include footage and discussion of what an A-hole Bill Parcells was/is – Miami Dolphins fans be warned!!! And there was ample footage of Steve Grogan’s penchant for the bootleg – Eat your heart out, Michael Vick – and my old buddy, Larry Garron!

Perhaps, my favorite moment of the DVD came during a montage of Andre Tippett’s tackles. One word can describe it… NASTY. You just don’t see tackles like that anymore in today’s NFL. Nowadays, it’s a hit-first type of tackle. It’s almost as if modern defenders don’t have arms. (I’m looking at you, Ryan Clark.)

Overall, the video is great for getting new fans up to speed on the team’s history and provides a chance to relive some of the greatest moments in the Belichick/Brady era. I wouldn’t recommend it for, say, a Colts fan, but that’s a given.

I’m not one to complain about snow but yesterday’s “3-5 inches” that turned into a foot of snow is ridiculous. Especially when you find yourself stuck having to drive 20 miles down an unplowed Rt. 128 to pick up the boyfriend’s kid.

Of course, Boyfriend thought it was “so beautiful” while I struggled to keep my shitty Honda from careening off the road. Must’ve been nice to be a passenger because being the driver sucked ass.

Unless you are a Honda sedan driver yourself, you would not believe how awesomely bad Hondas are in snow. It’s like driving a car on skis, not that I’ve ever been on skis myself but I assume that’s how it feels. My dad (the household car expert) tells me that I should put five or six cinder blocks in my trunk to weigh down the car and give it better traction. And here I thought my fat ass would be enough to weigh the car down. Apparently not enough.

My poor Honda. As if narrowly avoiding death 60 times yesterday afternoon wasn’t enough, the after-effects (Pot Holes) are for sure going to do my car in. Even the smallest crack in the road back in September has opened into a gaping (gaping, ha ha) crater. I hit a pot-crater this morning the size of the Grand Canyon and now I think I screwed up something important because now my steering wheel won’t stay still. With my luck, I’m going to be cruising down the highway and the tires are going to pop off.

Anyway, check out the table in my backyard. Does this look like a mere 3-5 inches of snow as was predicted on Saturday? No, it doesn’t.

Boyfriend thinks it looks like a “snow muffin.”

There’s only a few more hours of the Patriots reign as AFC Champions, a title I don’t think anyone gave a shit about last year. I don’t even think anyone gave much a shit about Super Bowl Champions either, it was all about 19-0, at least in my house anyway.

But since my one and only Patriots are out of the contest, there is only one thing I must do. And it’s all about the Arizona Cardinals. The Arizona fucking Cardinals. Yes, the Arizona Cardinals in the NFC Championship. For the first time. Ever. In like 90 years of existence. Even the Patriots (prior to their current excellence) had made it that far. If that alone isn’t a reason to root for the Cardinals, then I might as well just give up watching football all together.

I’ve even decided that since the home of the Arizona Cardinals, University of Phoenix Stadium, is the site of an event that has caused me so much pain and agony, I want at least SOMETHING good to come out of there. Plus, every time I see Ass-ante Samuel NOT DROP an interception, I die a little bit more inside.

And if Super Bowl 39 has taught me anything it’s that Eagles fans are brutal. Straight-up brutal. A lot has been said about Patriots fans but we can’t hold a candle to those from the city of “Brotherly Love.” Bru-tal. I had one fan send me DEATH THREATS because this here website was dedicated to Patriots love. (This statement alone will probably get me a death threat or two from some die-hard Eagles fans.)

Steelers fans are no prize either. Did I ever write about the mean Steelers fan who told me the Patriots sucked back in September of 2001, even after I said I liked the Steelers just to be nice? So much for good fansmanship (I just made up that word). If I could say one nice thing about Steelers fans though it would be that they are at least knowledgeable about football. That’s one thing I can’t say about the majority of Patriots Nation. Most of Patriots Nation are just off-season Red Sox Nation citizens who only watch football because they have nothing better to do once baseball season is over.

Could you even imagine an all-Pennsylvania Super Bowl? It’s be like Civil War Part II. Each faction could meet up in Gettysburg and the Black and Gold bloc can try and strangle their eastern opponents with Terrible Towels while the Eagles fans cram Philly Cheesesteaks in their faces and launch cannonballs shaped like Andy Reid at them.

Angela’s Sunday To-Do Checklist: Insult Eagles Fans (check!); Insult Steelers Fans (check!); Insult Red Sox Fans (check!); Do Laundry (not yet done)

So today I’m going to Praise Jesus, draw pictures of God and jump on Kurt Warner’s bandwagon! Just like when all you fuckheads were cheering and screaming for the Patriots back in 2001, and don’t lie, everyone likes the underdog, I’m going to be rooting for the Arizona Cardinals today. And the Baltimore Ravens because a pissed off Ray Lewis haunts my nightmares. I don’t want sweet, innocent Joe Flacco murdered in the locker room. Tick off Bible Thumpers (check!); Tick off Ravens fans (check!)