I sort of had a feeling this morning that the shirt I was wearing made me look pregnant (which I am NOT, by the way) and that feeling was confirmed when, on the train home from work, a young woman politely asked me if I would like her seat (since I was standing). Why else would she have asked me, out of all the people standing in the train car, if I would like her seat? FYI, I also noticed a few people looking at me strangely as I smoked my cigarette during lunch. I now know why.

Anyway, I won’t take it as an insult because the shirt really does make me look crazy pregnant. I think it’s the pleating or something. But after the woman offered me her seat, I got really pissed. Not at her, of course, she was kind enough to offer her seat during rush hour to the bloated “pregnant” chick, but all the dudes sitting on the train that didn’t seem to mind that a pregnant woman had to stand! Jerks.

Aside from my fake pregnancy, the 40-something sister of my former boss (Mean Boss) has resorted to leaving snide comments on my Facebook. I haven’t quite figured out if she is doing so to make me feel guilty for quitting her brother’s newspaper or to just be mean which would make sense considering Mean Boss is her brother. I’m assuming mean like that is genetic.

Either way, I’ve found the correspondence to be hilariously entertaining. I’ve made sure to keep my replies in a nice tone to keep from stooping to their level. It’s tough though because of all the horrible things that were said to me over the course of four years and the fact that, three weeks later, I’m still not completely over them, it really pisses me off to be turned into the bad guy.

Whatever. I’m in too good of a mood (wow, that’s a lot of “O”s) to let a four-time divorcee with enough time to devote to leaving snarky comments on a Facebook profile get me down! My dad bought me a new pair of headphones so I can finally listen to my beloved Dale and Holley tomorrow at work! God, I missed them. I so out of the sports loop without them. I was so confused when I noticed Youkilis on third base last night!

I have one hour remaining of my 20s and I’m oddly at peace with the whole thing. I think it’s the fact that I actually have a good job now with 30-something things like a 401K and dental that has taken my mind off my impending mortality. Maybe it’s just the sheer elation I STILL feel over knowing I never have to return to that horrible newspaper (Yes, it really was that bad).

But since it is almost my birthday and it’s kind of last minute notice, I would like to announce that I will gladly accept presents for the entire week. No pressure or anything.

I don’t think the kids today can really grasp Michael Jackson’s long lasting fame. Nowadays, it seems anyone can be a celebrity and then, in the blink of an eye, they’re gone (I’m patiently waiting for Spencer, Heidi, Jon, and Kate to go far far away right this minute). When I was growing up, Michael Jackson was king and I’ll admit I haven’t cared much in recent years but to know that he is gone forever saddens me.

Michael Jackson wrote the soundtrack to my childhood. “Beat It,” “Billie Jean,” “Thriller,” all remind me of being a kid. Growing up, no one was bigger than him.

I vividly remember the first time I saw the “Thriller” video. Honestly, my mother was slightly lax with her parenting skills that day when she let me watch it because, at only four-years-old, that video terrified me. I had nightmares for WEEKS! It wasn’t so much MJ turning into a werewolf that scared me. It was just those friggin zombies. *shiver*

Don’t even get me started on the nightmares I had after watching “The Wiz” for the first time.

Anyway, it seems to be a trend this morning to discuss your favorite Michael Jackson songs. Here’s mine (in order of how they came to my mind):

* “The Way You Make Me Feel”
* “Say Say Say” duet with Paul McCartney
* “Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough”
* “Thriller”
* “Butterflies”

I’ve been so wrapped up in this whole new job awesomeness that I completely forgot that I turn the big 3-0 in less than a week (Buy me presents)! I only have one more week to enjoy my 20s. Then again, I also only have one more week to dread turning 30 and then it’s over. It’s amazing how something as simple as a new job can change your outlook on everything (I’m sure the MUCH larger paycheck had NOTHING to do with that).

If you can believe this… I actually thought of two things I miss about my old job (indirect things, of course):

1.) Until I can buy some new ear buds/headphones (boyfriend accidentally left mine on the train) I can’t listen to my daily dose of WEEI’s Dale and Holley. Thankfully, I still have about a month or so until they start talking football again but I miss them like crazy! Love ‘em or hate ‘em, that show got me through nearly four years of pure misery.

2.) I miss the girls at my (former) Dunkin Donuts. I’d have to radically alter my commute in order to stop there and I don’t know if I really want to be around that ‘hood anyway, you know, with Mean Boss wanting to literally kill me and all.

Don’t worry, I can easily think of thousands of things I don’t miss. But I do think I’ll stop by the good ol’ Dunks Saturday morning.

Check it out… it’s Wednesday, 9:12 p.m., I’ve been home for a few hours, and I had a great day! HOLY SHMOLY!

Today, I was finally able to get down to some business at work, and it was great! I feel like Oliver friggin Twist in there. I haven’t been this happy in years!

And I hear my former (yay!) employer, also known as Mean Boss, has been slandering me like a mofo. From what I hear, he had “nothing nice to say.” I screwed the paper over, I was the worst employee EVER, all he did was take care of me for years and this is how I repay him! How dare I rebuff his kindheartedness!

Hysterical! I gave my blood, sweat, and tears to that place for WELL BELOW market value, endured illegal labor practices (given 1099’s so he could avoid payroll taxes; no breaks; etc.), and literal verbal abuse and he is somehow SHOCKED that I left. PUH-LEASE! I liken it to a bully being surprised when one of his victims finally turns around and slugs him in the face.

For the first time in years I can feel the life returning to me and I’m starting to feel like my old self again. Most importantly, I know I will never have to see him again and that feels great!

At least I can take comfort in knowing that, at this very moment, he is at the office struggling to finish all the work that I would have done. That, my friends, is poetic justice and it is sweet.