I am so frickin pissed today, I’m having a hard time expressing it in words. Let me try…
There I was, high off the glory of accomplishment because today I finished a whopper of a project. Today, I finished a project so big, it was one of the main reasons I was even brought on board! Yes, this project was a doozy and I finished it… today… all by myself.
I was so excited after patting myself on the back for hours that on my way home from work, I sat on the bus with a frickin smile on my face. A smile! On my face! Like some half-wit who doesn’t realize life sucks! So, there I was, on the bus smiling like a moron and I decide to pop on the good ol’ cellphone and check in on my twitter (check me out, B.T.W.) and what do I find?! Oh, I’ll tell you what I found… turns out NBC, the network that brings us Jay Leno every frickin night, has flexed the December 6 Sunday night Patriots-Dolphins game.
Apparently, the Patriots-Dolphins game just isn’t good enough for them. Nope, a Patriots-Dolphins divisional match-up with huge potential AFC playoff implications just isn’t important enough to air on Sunday night. Oh no, instead they’d rather air the battle of geriatric quarterbacks, Vikings-Cardinals. The Patriots and Dolphins have now been relegated to 1 p.m. and that is why I am frickin mad!
You might be wondering why I care? Oh, I’ll tell you why… I’m pissed because December 6 also happens to be the day of my boyfriend’s family’s annual Christmas party. You might remember that I have this issue every frickin year. Every frickin year, boyfriend and I nearly come to blows over this frickin Christmas party (OK, that’s an exaggeration, we don’t come to blows, but no one’s happy, I can tell you that). He wants me to go, I want to go but it takes place during a Patriots game. And of course it’s in December when every single game has giant playoff implications.
I won’t lie, I’m addicted. I’m like some Patriots junkie that even the mere thought of missing a fix has sent me into hysterics. Trust me, you don’t want to be around me the morning after the Super Bowl . I hit straight DTs before the final piece of victory confetti hits the turf (unless it’s a Super Bowl the Patriots have won, of course). And don’t even get me started on my Patriots gameday superstitions. The fact that I might not be on the couch, literally helping my team win is horrifying!
Seriously though, I only get 16 guaranteed games per year and he wants me to give one up?! Quite frankly, he needs to do much more than just be my gorgeous boyfriend for that to occur. I don’t like having to chose between the man in my life and the 53 men in my life. Why can’t the boyfriend understand that they come first?! OK, I’m kidding but still. I am in attendance at every other boyfriend-related family function. And I don’t ask for much. I don’t ask for anything, actually, except the freedom to watch the Patriots when I want, as much as I want, and without interruption.
And for the record, I have and will skip any and all family parties that my own family invites me to if it means missing a Patriots game. You should see us on the rare Thanksgiving when the Patriots are playing. Dad and I race to my aunt’s, load up some plates and are back home, in front of our TV, without having missed a single play. Yep. We’re just that good.
I think the moral of the story is: find a significant other who is as obsessed with what you’re obsessed with as you are. Phew, does that even make sense?