I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I’m anti-movie theater. I hate driving all the way to the theater, looking for parking, standing in line to buy tickets, paying an arm and leg for popcorn that is a 1,000% mark-up of cost, trying to watch a movie with annoying teenagers talking behind me, trying to stumble through a filled aisle, down stairs, and into a filthy bathroom just to pee… no thank you. So instead, I make good use of my Netflix account. But, it also means I am horribly behind when it comes to movie IQ. For example, today, I watched the modern classic “Twilight” for the first time. So, due to the fact that I am tragically behind, please excuse me for a moment but…

What a steaming pile of horseshit! Teenage girls really like this garbage?! I think my 15-year-old self would have vomited ten minutes into it. And then she would have kicked my ass for watching the whole thing.

I can’t imagine even a 13-year-old not gagging at this line: “Your scent, it’s like a drug to me. You’re like my own personal brand of heroin. ” – Edward Cullen. *violent gagging*

Suckiness aside, I did like the score and the cinematography was nice. But it can’t overcome the putrid dialogue. And acting. And plot. And headache-inducing fight scenes. Did I mention dialogue?

I have never appreciated “True Blood” so much. Oh, Bill and Eric… save me from this insipid pile of puke.