Unless a place is open 24 hours, it has a closing time. Most places of business have their hours of operation clearly posted yet some people seem to completely ignore them. As a waitress, nothing peeves me more than waiting on the customer that comes in 5 - 10 minutes before closing time.

Why do some customers feel the need to go to a restaurant 5 - 10 minutes before it closes? Do they feel as though the world should bow down to them? Have they forgotten that we are servers and not servants? Are they unable to tell time or read the posted closing times? I think the real answers to these questions are simply that a lot of people just suck.

You come in five minutes before the restaurant closes and expect hot food. Hello?! The cooks want to go home. They do not give a flying fuck if your food is hot. You’d be lucky if your food hasn’t been kicked all over the floor before being served, and that’s the truth. You want to sit and chit chat over your meal? I don’t think so. If you want to have a relaxing meal, come in at least an hour before we close. I will clear all your plates without your permission. You’ve finished your meal and now want dessert and coffee? Number one, there’s no one left in the kitchen to make your dessert so don’t ask. And as for the coffee, it’s probably been sitting on the burner for more than 30 minutes, so if you don’t mind drinking old, bitter coffee, fine, but don’t expect to sit there and sip it.

It is time to pay the bill and, whoops, you ”forgot” to tip. Well damn you. You just kept your server there, most likely making no more than $3.00 an hour. I hope your place of employment accidently screws you out of an hour of work. What goes around, comes around.

Whether you decide to heed my warnings and remember that servers have lives outside of the restaurant, just keep in mind, we have the ability to do nasty things to something you are about to ingest. Whether we will or not, that’s all up to you.

May 16th, 2003