Today is my little sister Kristina’s 28th birthday. In other words, I’ve had to deal with her ass for 28 years now… and the one year I was without her, I was too young to remember.

In honor of her 28 years of life, I present to you Memorable Moments in our Sisterhood:

* When my parents first brought her home as I newborn, I approached the car seat she was fastened into and pushed it away.

* As a baby, she couldn’t pronounce my name so she called me, “La La”.

* As toddlers, my mother tells me I used to break her out of the playpen.

* When I was four and she was three, I unsuccessfully tried to cut off her finger with construction paper scissors. She got me back by dousing my hair with lighter fluid.

* When I was six, I got a Barbie and Rockers Barbie for earning the prestigious honor, “Student of the Month,” of my first grade class. My sister stole it, ripped its head off, and stuck it in a bottle. She did that to most of my Barbie dolls.

* One afternoon when we were little, my sister thought it would be funny to hide in the backyard. My mother panicked and called the police.

* Once, we both got punished for two hours because we got caught throwing rocks at the neighbor’s car.

* We got punished again when my grandmother was babysitting and we threw a life-sized ragdoll we had out of the upstairs window. My grandmother thought it was one of us and nearly had a heart attack.

* We used to bully one of the neighborhood kids by throwing crab apples at him and dousing him with the hose every time he walked past our house. Yet, he still wanted to hang out with us.

* After every birthday I had, my curfew would get raised an hour. Even though I am a year older, her curfew was raised, too, within two weeks. How annoying.

Well, Happy Birthday, Kristina. Here’s to 28 more years!

I am proud to announce that according to my Sitemeter statistics, Bostonbrat.net has just achieved its 400,000th hit. And wouldn’t ya know, it came on a Google query for “Drunk Girls”. I’m so proud. *tear*

8 billion years ago I subscribed to Sporting News and for some crazy reason, they keep sending it to me despite not having renewed the subscription for the last 7 billion years. Not that I’m complaining though… I like Sporting News, especially since its recent retooling.I’ve got all my old editions with Tom Brady as the “Sportsman of the Year” and all the years Boston was selected as the “Best Sports City of the Year.” You can imagine how excited I was Friday afternoon when my copy of SN was jammed through my apartment’s mail slot and I saw that Boston had once again received this prestigious honor. It would’ve been nice if Dan Shaughnessy hadn’t written the article but whatever. No complaints.

But then I read through the other 400 cities Sporting News ranked. A random assortment of cities were highlighted with famous figures writing a blurb about why their hometown is #1 and I noticed our old friend, Daniel Graham, former Patriot and current tight end for the Denver Broncos wrote about why Denver is the Best Sports City in America.

“I don’t like Boston,” he writes. “I hate the Celtics, and I hate the Red Sox. I really wasn’t too much into baseball, but they make you choose, you know? Red Sox or Yankees. So I was a Yankees fan.”

OUCH! I guess Vince Wilfork never invited him to a Celtics game.

Daniel Graham adds, “They weren’t selling out anything in the basketball arena, but all of a sudden the Celtics got some good players and they’re all basketball fans again.”

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN! Although, I can’t really argue that one. B.K.G. (Before Kevin Garnett) they really weren’t selling out. But then again, who wants to spend their hard-earned cash on a team with the most losses in the Eastern Conference? It was also depressing given the history of the team.

I just didn’t realize Graham hated us so much. Maybe he’s just bitter about all the times he dropped gimmie passes from Brady in the end zone? Who knows.

I want to preface this by saying I do like Matt Cassel. I think he’s a nice guy, good-looking and I want him to do well. I want him to have the ability to flip off everyone for doubting him, to live the quintessential backup quarterback dream. That ain’t happening, not now, not ever.

I’ve tried to be patient. I’ve told myself over and over, “He’ll get better. He just needs time. He’ll get better. He just needs time.”

We’re five weeks into the season and there is no improvement. He looks just as confused as Week One. Shots of him behind center look like a deer in headlights. His passes are off target, sometimes by miles and he second-guesses almost every throw that isn’t a screen. I noticed a few instances last night when Randy Moss easily beat the defender and had to slow to return to the pass. Randy, Wes, and Jabar are wide receivers, not miracle workers (RB Kevin Faulk might be the closest to it).

I’ll even credit Cassel with a beautiful play-fake that he squandered by not getting rid of it. As my dad said, “It was so good, he fooled himself!”

I hate to be like one of those “BENCH THE QB!” people but… Bench the QB!

On another note, could the Chargers be any more dirty? For a team that bitches and moans about “class” and “dirty” I saw with my own eyes six incidents of dirt. (Example: a knee to Welker’s face early in the game.) And if that’s what I’m seeing, I can only imagine what really went on.

And I especially loved how the Chargers fans booed for a solid 20 minutes on a non-reversal call that would’ve given the PATRIOTS a first down. They all must have been surfing or doing whatever people who live in paradise do when a similar incident occurred in the Atlanta-Chicago game.

I just hope they can come up with something, anything because the playoffs are still within their grasp.

Since there was no football on last night, I chose to watch the Red Sox battle the Tampa Bay Rays for American League dominance. I actually watched the whole thing too, except for the few instances I had to switch it because my boyfriend was FREAKING OUT (A Dice-K outing has that effect on him). There were a few things I noticed…

* What the hell is up with Tropicana Field?! For the record, due to my work schedule I have listened to more Red Sox games than I have watched so I couldn’t fully grasp the dumpitude of The Trop.

* Last night was the first time I was ever able to use the words, “Tampa Bay Rays” and “fans” in the same sentence.

* In all the years I have had this website, I have received comments of an unpleasant nature from various professional sports fanbases. Most notably, NY Jets, NY Giants, NY Yankees, and Pittsburgh Steelers. I am proud to announce for the first time in the seven-year history of this here website, I was heckled by a… get this… Tampa Fan!

* The “Ray-Hawk” might just be the dumbest thing I have ever heard of…. OH WAIT… THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD OF IN THE HISTORY OF ALL DUMB THINGS I HAVE EVER HEARD OF. via universal hub. But now I’m left to wonder, will these fine ladies be showing off their “ray-hawks” during the game?

* OK, someone explain to me the proper strategic use of a cowbell. Do you ring your bell when your pitcher is on the mound, or when your hitters are at-bat? I don’t really get it. I’m used to football homefield advantage… the crowd roars for its defense and silences for its offense. But last night, the cowbells were chiming for everything. I’m confused.

I’d like to extend a huge “Thank you” to the guy driving the white Toyota FJ Cruiser who, without hesitation, gave my pathetic car a jump yesterday morning on Essex Street in Salem.

If it wasn’t for your help, I probably would have ended up crying hysterically, calling my dad who would in turn become hysterical over me being hysterical and I would’ve done something really silly like kick the fender off my car.

And while I’m at it, I’d like to say “Thank You” the the very kind woman who was in the check-out line behind me at the A.C. Moore in Woburn last Saturday. When buying a set of Size 10 knitting needles, she was kind enough to give me a 50% off coupon.

It’s so refreshing (AND RARE!) in this day and age when you encounter folks who AREN’T assholes.

Thanks again!

I’d like to say I watched the entire Red Sox game last night, from first pitch to last, but that would be a big, fat, giant, stinking lie. I was fortunate enough that Monday Night Football went to a commercial just in time to catch the bottom of the ninth inning last night when the Red Sox finished off the Angels. Call me a bad Bostonian but most of what I did catch was only during commercial breaks from the Minnesota-New Orleans game on ESPN.

And that’s where I stand, a football-freak lost in a baseball city. I need the bruising hits, the intricate strategy of an offense, the intensity of a defense, the non-stop, heart-pounding, make me say, “Holy Crap!” moments that football gives me over and over and over.

Case in point… Sunday night, during a commercial break in the Pittsburgh-Jacksonville game, I turned over to TBS to see how the Red Sox were doing. David Ortiz was at bat, I don’t remember the inning. I watched a couple pitches and switched back. I watched a possession change, a few intense first downs and then a punt. Switched it back to the Red Sox game and, low and behold, David Ortiz was still at bat.

And I think it’s clearly apparent that Boston is still, and always will be, a baseball city. The majority can feign interest (and celebrate Super Bowls) in the Patriots during the winter, but the way the crowd is at Gillette (silent), the way they’ll turn on the Pats at even the most remote indication of trouble… there’s just not the ardent support that the Red Sox enjoy. I’m not complaining about it, I’m just making note. It’s all about personal preference, I guess.

My preference just happens to be football. This time of year, I soak in each game because there are so few of them. And this season seems to be more exciting than any I can remember. What was that whole “parity” thing again? Every single game I have watched has been exciting (except for *cough cough* Miami-New England *cough cough*). Washington vs. Dallas, Dallas vs. Philly, Philly vs. Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh vs. Jacksonville, Jacksonville vs. Indy.

At least the ALCS, for the most part, won’t conflict with football.

It’s official… I hate everybody at school. Well, not everybody. I’m not that miserable. Just certain people.

For example, I will never understand why one thinks it’s funny/cool/totally awesome to brag about not buying the course textbook when it’s already three weeks into the semester. Never fail, in ten years of college, there is always at least one jamoke in my class who brags about either a) not having bought the book deep into the semester or b) having bought the book but not even taken the plastic wrap off it yet - thus declaring to all that he (’cuz it’s always a he) does not study.

I’ve been out of high school too long to remember if this actually attracted girls then but I can’t see how it is even remotely funny in college. In fact, I’ll even say it is sad. It’s sad that someone would waste his time going to a class he clearly (pretends?) doesn’t give a rat’s ass about. It’s sad that this sack of shit is taking up a spot in class when someone who genuinely wanted OR NEEDED to be there couldn’t get in. It’s sad that mommy and daddy, OR WORSE, the taxpayer (if he gets financial aid) is paying for tuition when said jamoke thinks it’s all one big fucking joke. And if tuition is coming out of his own pocket, then that’s really fucking sad.

Sometimes, it’s no surprise to me that our country is turning into a shithole. The amount of shitheads here is staggering.