I’m home sick today… again. *sigh* We had the kid this week and I think I picked up something from him. Kids are walking germ bags, after all. I forget who said it, but someone at work told me they call kids “petri dishes.” So true, random co-worker. It’s funny though, I don’t ever remember being sick when I was a kid, besides that one bout with pneumonia.

Anyway, boyfriend is also sick so we are both being whiny babies together today. The only difference is that, since he’s a man, he’s a way bigger whiny baby. Sorry, guys, but when you’re all sick, you are the biggest, whiniest babies of them all. That’s a fact! Quote me! I’d like to see a man endure PMS and menstruation once a month. But that’s another story…

So today I will FINALLY be able to watch the last two episodes of this season of “Mad Men” thanks in part to Fios and AMC finally putting them OnDemand. And I have plenty of leftover cans of soup since my last cold a few weeks ago. AND I have the knowledge that King Whiny Baby Jay Cutlet Cutler threw five, count ‘em, FIVE interceptions last night in an apparent grudge match versus former Whiniest Baby Jake Delhomme for Whiny Baby Supremacy.

I just hacked up a lung and now I feel great! For the first time in over a week, I can breathe! Really breathe! Whatever was causing me to wheeze and choke for over a week was just hacked up and flushed down the toilet.

And with great timing, too, because tomorrow night we’re taking the kid to his first ever Red Sox game. That’s a rite of passage in deez parts and I’m glad I’ll actually be able to enjoy the night instead of wishing I was in bed.

Yay!

I have the cold that just will not die! I think it’s been more than ten years since I’ve had a cold that has kicked my ass like this. And it won’t go away, no matter how much OJ I drink, hours I sleep, NyQuil I chug… I’m still hacking up a lung and blowing my nose. Damn the person who spread these germs to me! Whoever you are! *waves fist*

On the bright side, football season is quickly approaching, as evidenced by my fantasy football league holding its draft today. And when I tell you I hate my team, I really hate my team. Both Tom Brady and Wes Welker were swept up right from under me! I ended up drafting *gasp* Phillip Rivers for my QB. At least if he sucks, thus making my team suck, I won’t care much. Worst case scenario, I drafted Baltimore’s Joe Flacco as my back-up.

I was able to draft Brandon Jacobs for running back (yay!) and at tight end I drafted Visanthe Shiancoe, who you might remember as the poor guy who was frontally nude on national television last season:

What’s worse than two days of 90 degree heat in a row? Two days of 90 degree heat in a row while suffering from a nasty cold. If it wasn’t for air conditioning, I think I would literally die. Might I also mention, it’s nice having a job where I can take sick days. If I had to lug my ass onto the train this morning and into the office, I think I might have also literally died.

Once again, I signed my life over to purchase a small package of Advil Cold & Sinus and, once again, it was worth the time and effort. I can understand why it is such a pain in the ass to buy… it works so good, it’s criminal. This is the first time in three days I can actually sit up without feeling faint and pukish.

I’m not sure where this cold came from but, as is my luck, it all started Sunday morning when we were up at Hampton Beach, NH, squatting in the boyfriend’s family’s rented beach house. Despite the onset of a brutal cold, I was able to keep from complaining long enough so everyone else could have a good time:

FINALLY, my sisters and I are taking my dad to The Hall today and as luck would have it, I have come down with a crappy cold. I blame my boss 100% for this cold because all week he was sick and would not go home. In fact, my other boss drove him home and he still came back. “Ha ha, I get bored at home,” he said. Oh ha-friggin-ha, now I have to suffer because he didn’t feel like sitting at home. Great.

I already told my dad that I’d be going to The Hall today even if I had the Bubonic Plague. I can handle a wretched head cold. That’s nothing. And just to be on the safe side, I practically signed over my life to obtain a pack of Advil Cold & Sinus at Walgreens.

While I’m at it, I’d like to take a moment to complain about the fact that it is a ludicrously annoying process to buy Advil Cold & Sinus. I need my ID, agree to some long, wordy thing about buying pseudoephedrine which is the last thing I want to read when I have a head cold, and sign something, all to obtain the only medicine that works for me when I have a cold. And all of this came after the pharmacy tech rolled his eyes at me when I asked for it because he is all too familiar with the lengthy process that will follow.

And I must also mention that the Advil Cold & Sinus is so wonderful, I can now actually breathe with my mouth closed! (I swear, this post is not sponsored by Advil Cold & Sinus).

My sister is going to drive so I’ve prepared a kit to take with me on our 30 to 45 minute journey to Gillette Stadium: More Advil Cold & Sinus, gum, a roll of toilet paper (who needs Kleenex?), a juice box, and an empty Stop & Shop bag for the used TP.

Wish me luck!