All I want for Christmas is a New York Jets victory! Wait… WHAT?!?!

Yesterday, the Patriots’ playoff hopes were kept alive, no thanks to the Dallas Suckboys and the Kansas City Queefs, when the Seattle Seahawks knocked off the New Jersey Jets. I especially enjoyed the almost eulogy-like discussion the analytical panel on NBC’s “Football Night in America” had about the Jets and Brett Favre’s career.

Either scenario next weekend isn’t so bad. Either the Jets beat Miami and the Patriots take the division (after a Patriots victory in Buffalo, of course), or Miami wins and the Patriots sit home, but so do the Jets and stupid Brett Favre and Fat Ass Mangini. What a burn that would be… Chad Pennington can laugh all the way home to Miami.

My expectations of this Patriots season were lowered dramatically after Tom Brady got hurt. And after the Patriots’ X-Ray machine had one of its busiest seasons I can remember, I didn’t hold out too much hope that the Patriots would run away with the division. But if the Jets can win next Sunday, and the Patriots take the Golden AFC East championship, I will fall over. Considering that the team is running with 40-year-old linebackers, 20-year-old rookie corners, and a backup quarterback, an 11-5 season even with NO playoffs is a true success.

Who would have thought that an 11-5 season that might end in Week 17 would be one of Bill Belichick’s best coached ever? Just like Bill Cowher in Pittsburgh, I think the Patriots will always be competitive as long as Belichick is coaching this team and thanks to Spygate, I don’t think he’ll ever leave. You could tell after his standing ovation at the Celtics’ game last May. You could tell when he decided to sign autographs during Training Camp.

Well, I’ve got my fingers crossed. If only the Jets can stop sucking for five minutes and the Patriots can take care of business in Buffalo. Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh….