When I heard the Montreal Canadiens fans booing the “Star-Spangled Banner” in unison last night, I thought to myself, “C’mon Bruins, give ‘em something to really boo about.” Thanks, Bruins. That was awesome. I haven’t been this excited about hockey since the 1998 USA Women’s Olympic Team (Sandra Whyte is from my hometown).

Best of all, the game ended just in time to catch Ray Allen’s two-seconds-left three-pointer to lift the Celtics over the Bulls in Game Two. All this after I spent my afternoon listening to the Sox score 12 runs over hapless Baltimore.

But it all got me to thinking (I know, ouch, my brain hurts), if the Bruins were able to go on and win the Cup, ending their 35+ year championship drought that would mean the team with the longest period of time since its last championship would be… gasp… the Patriots. Could that even be possible?

8 billion years ago I subscribed to Sporting News and for some crazy reason, they keep sending it to me despite not having renewed the subscription for the last 7 billion years. Not that I’m complaining though… I like Sporting News, especially since its recent retooling.I’ve got all my old editions with Tom Brady as the “Sportsman of the Year” and all the years Boston was selected as the “Best Sports City of the Year.” You can imagine how excited I was Friday afternoon when my copy of SN was jammed through my apartment’s mail slot and I saw that Boston had once again received this prestigious honor. It would’ve been nice if Dan Shaughnessy hadn’t written the article but whatever. No complaints.

But then I read through the other 400 cities Sporting News ranked. A random assortment of cities were highlighted with famous figures writing a blurb about why their hometown is #1 and I noticed our old friend, Daniel Graham, former Patriot and current tight end for the Denver Broncos wrote about why Denver is the Best Sports City in America.

“I don’t like Boston,” he writes. “I hate the Celtics, and I hate the Red Sox. I really wasn’t too much into baseball, but they make you choose, you know? Red Sox or Yankees. So I was a Yankees fan.”

OUCH! I guess Vince Wilfork never invited him to a Celtics game.

Daniel Graham adds, “They weren’t selling out anything in the basketball arena, but all of a sudden the Celtics got some good players and they’re all basketball fans again.”

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN! Although, I can’t really argue that one. B.K.G. (Before Kevin Garnett) they really weren’t selling out. But then again, who wants to spend their hard-earned cash on a team with the most losses in the Eastern Conference? It was also depressing given the history of the team.

I just didn’t realize Graham hated us so much. Maybe he’s just bitter about all the times he dropped gimmie passes from Brady in the end zone? Who knows.

It’s been a few months now since that fateful evening in February when my…. *gasp* …Patriots lost… *gulp* …the… *ugh* …Super… *vomit* …Bowl. BUT… in fewer than two weeks, my dad, sister, and I will be driving down to good ol’ Foxborough for the start of Patriots Training Camp! The season is so close, I can almost taste it! (And I do realize that wishing for football season is also wishing away the summer, but I do not care. Screw summer).

And, although that horrible Sunday night feels like just yesterday, so much has happened since:
* I learned to knit.
* The Boston Celtics won a World Championship.
* David Ortiz went on the D.L. ¹.
* Sister moved out.
* My office moved.
* I got a raise.
* Cigarettes went up a $1.50 (which could play a huge role in the season when it comes time for me to smoke my “defensive cigarettes ²”).
* Boyfriend got a new job.
* The New Kids on the Block reunited.

…I mean, this is like a whole different planet since Super Bowl 42! It’s like an alternate universe where I do something girly like knit while grooving to NKOTB.

I haven’t really thought about the Patriots too much in the last few months, partly because it was too painful, and because I knew it was like FOREVER until the season began again. But when WEEI announced yesterday that, in addition to Patriots Monday, they will now also be doing Patriots Friday, I could no longer keep my mind off my beloved Pats.

Now, if I can just wait patiently for two more weeks…

¹ “Disabled list,” not to be confused with “Down Low.”
² A “defensive cigarette” is a cigarette that I MUST smoke while the Patriots defense is on the field. This cigarette is crucial to the overall performance of the Patriots D. Think I’m full of it? Since I’ve been smoking my defensive cigarette, the Patriots have attended five Super Bowls, winning three of them.

The boyfriend is off to the Celtics victory parade and while I have some peace and quiet, I thought I’d reflect upon the incredible Celtics’ World Championship.

17 Things that are totally AWESOME about the Celtics’ 17th World Championship

1. It was well worth the wait. The last time the Celtics won a championship, I was 7. Me. 7. For the record, I’ll be 29 later this month.

2. They were able to defeat the Lakers. When it’s been this long, how awesome is it that the team was able to beat the team that defeated them the last time they were up?

3. The Curse of Len Bias is over. I don’t believe much of that supernatural stuff, but I’ll be damned if I don’t believe in sports curses! So, you can imagine how I felt yesterday when it was mentioned that the Celtics drafted Len Bias 22 years to the day as the Celtics won banner 17, on June 17.

4. 131 to 92. I thought the Celtics were going to win, but like this? Hell no. At least when my Patriots lost in February, it was close, and they didn’t give up (well, except for Ass-ante Samuel).

5. And speaking of the Patriots, in a small way, this championship eases the ongoing pain of the Patriots loss in… Super Bowl 42. This is evidenced by the fact that I can actually type the words, “Super Bowl 42″. My dad now thinks that the Sports Gods couldn’t give up Super Bowl 42 because they were holding out for the Celtics #17.

6. While Boston celebrates ANOTHER championship, the sports-loving nation is groaning. I have always fought hard to not be a typical, Masshole, Boston-loving fan… but, no matter how gracious I try to remain, I’m forever associated with my obnoxious brethren. So, hell, why not embrace it?

7. K.G.’s exchange with Bill Russell after the game. In the initial moments after victory, Kevin Garnett was the epitome of drunk on happiness. In fact, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was drunk on alcohol. But for a few moments, he was clear, respectful and reverential as he talked to Celtics legend Bill Russell.

8. That ABC was dumb enough to interview K.G. moments after victory on live TV. #@!*$(% $(%*^@!#*$*%&$@!@##!

9. Finally, after three weeks, I can get some sleep. No more 9 p.m. start times.

10. That it happened in Boston. Think of how much less exciting it would have been if the Celtics won in Game 5 at the Staples Center.

11. For a few days, I get to relive my childhood. I know a lot of people (around the country anyway) are sick and tired of the 60s, 70s, and 80s references, but hell, like I mentioned in #1, I’m old and instead of being mindful of my impending mortality, it’s fun to have something that reminds me of my childhood crammed in my face every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.

12. I like the color green. It’s easing on the eyes. I also look good in green, which is always a plus.

13. Boston Police get yet another opportunity to hone their riot-squelching skills. I still will never understand how a sports victory gives one the urge to smash something, ESPECIALLY directly in front of, not only police, but high-tech (and very clear) television cameras. Which brings me to…

14. Watching douche bags get arrested never gets old. I present “Exhibit A”…

According to the Herald, he is Christopher O’Neill. Mommy must be so proud!

15. Now that it’s over, I don’t have to look at Pau Gasol anymore. What an ugly jamoke.

16. Paul Pierce finally gets to establish his own legacy. After enduring what he has here, including almost being stabbed to death, seeing Pierce not only win a championship but accept an MVP trophy here is thrilling.

17. Winning championships, no matter what the sport, NEVER GETS OLD!

Did Dale Arnold just say, “The Patriots victory parade…” ? Wishful thinking?

I have to admit, I’m pretty excited about tonight’s Celtics-Lakers game. It looks like St. Patrick’s Day today – everywhere you look, everyone is wearing green (myself included). Maybe we could call it “St. Auerbach Day?” Hell, it’s gotta beat the purple and yellow Lakers fans are wearing… right?

I just think it’s about time the Celtics, Boston’s perennial champion of the 20th century, enter the new millennium and reclaim their place in town, you know, with the Red Sox and my Patriots showing them up lately.

At least today wasn’t unbearable at work. Shocking, I know. Actually it was kind of fun because this afternoon, a local cub scout came in to learn about newspapers for some boy scout badge, and I gotta tell ya, he was the cutest kid EVER! He couldn’t have been any older than seven but he actually showed interest in what I was saying. I’ve had boy scouts come in before for badges but this kid was the most fun. All told, he earned his badge and my dad didn’t suck as badly as usual. I’m even thinking of sneaking a little “hello” to him in tomorrow’s paper.