Rodney It’s pretty much a foregone conclusion that my favorite Patriots player of all time is retiring from the NFL To say I am saddened would be an understatement.

I will never forget that morning in the summer of ’03 when my dad told me the Patriots had just signed Rodney Harrison from the San Diego Chargers. At first I wasn’t quite sure how to feel. On the one hand, Rodney was an amazing player, yet on the other hand he was mean and I didn’t know how I’d like him. But then I thought about how readily I accepted the acquisition of Bryan Cox, a player I had DESPISED, and I knew Rodney would fit right in. And soon after when the Patriots released my then-favorite player, Lawyer Milloy, I was left with a gaping (hee hee “gaping”) hole in my heart in need of a new favorite player.

Who knew I would fall so madly in love with Rodney? My sister nearly killed me when she called me from her work bathroom that time to tell me she was waiting on him and he was a good tipper. And every time he got injured, I held my breathe and I always knew he’d be back.

But then this happened and I kind of had a feeling deep down in my gut that he wasn’t coming back. I was in denial about it. Then today, I heard he was going to announce his future plans, which I was sure included suiting up for the Patriots, maybe on the PUP list for a while but nevertheless, he’d be back.

Then Chris Gasper reported that Rodney isn’t going to announce his return tomorrow. Quite the contrary. Rodney’s going to join NBC’s Football Night in America or whatever shit they call their crappy show. My eyes are filling with tears at just the thought.

On the plus side, finally the Patriots will have a true representative whenever Jerome Bettis starts flapping his gums. So that’s good, I guess.